Art in Real Life: Fashion

What if there was a uniform for life … like on Star Trek? { }

This conversation with your child can help them explore and appreciate the drivers of fashion choices, including utility, expression of beliefs, modesty, fun, etc. After watching a cartoon or show about life in outer space, with just a few questions you can leverage the moment for some serious lessons about the role of fashion in communities.

Let’s think about the people who made this movie. They had to decide what the characters would be wearing. Why do you think they decided to go with what you see here? What reasons?

What if you could design a perfect uniform for everyone in your school? How would you decide? What would you need to consider?

Would student uniforms be different from teachers and staff? Why/why not?

Can you think of some advantages of doing that? Disadvantages?

What if you could design uniforms for where your parents work? What would you need to consider?

The Person They See { }

Help your child notice and begin to understand how people accent or change their looks to send messages about who they are – or the role they are playing.

Have they noticed how their parents get ready for work in the morning – grooming, hairstyles or make-up? Why do you think they pay attention to those details?
Explain some of your choices. How do you feel differently when you go out prepared and ‘professional’ vs right out of bed.
Occasionally notice someone’s ‘look’ – ask your child what they noticed. Discuss what messages the person may be trying to send.
Have a fun ‘playing with your looks’ day. Stand in front of a mirror and do crazy things with your hair. Wear caps in a variety of ways.
Find a picture of a person in ‘street’ clothes and then in a uniform. Discuss what is different for that person in each picture.

What Is Most Important About What You Wear at School? { }

This conversation/game will help your child appreciate that clothing matters – a lot. (It won’t be news to them.) It will also help them understand all the components that people see – and judge. People ‘read’ each others’ clothing to learn about their values or family income or even favorite musical genres. It can also marginalize or isolate kids.

Make up cards listing criteria. Some suggestions:

Fits well
Everyone else is wearing something like it
New
Expensive brand
Clean
Modesty
Supports the activity you’re doing
Don’t keep wearing the same thing
Other ideas

Ask your child to put these in order of importance. Do they think others would order them the same way?

What if someone had new clothes that didn’t really fit? Why might that happen?

What if someone wears the same clothes over and over again? Why might that happen?

Are there kids at school who follow punk or other trends? What do you think they might be saying?

Brainstorm a list of what you CAN’T tell about a person based on what they are wearing?

What to Cover? Why? { }

These discussion ideas are meant to help your child appreciate that clothing isn’t just about fashion, but that it also has a job to do. Exploring your child’s ideas related to modesty in clothing is a great opportunity to discuss (and influence) personal values.

Can you think of reasons to keep parts of your body private?
Why might modesty be good? Is it ever bad?
Should it be up to the individual to decide how much of their body they want to keep private? Or to expose?
Are there rules in your family or school or faith about modesty in attire?
Does your community have rules about public exposure?

Are There Rules About Hair? { }

The purpose of these discussion ideas is to explore with your child the role cultures play in defining hair style expectations.

Help them appreciate that sometimes people’s hairstyle tells a story of belonging.
Explore differences between styles for men and women? Why do they think they evolved that way?
Explore global differences.
Discuss hair in your childhood. Did you have favorite haircuts? check out old pictures? Ask grandparents about their hair histories? Any favorites?
Explore ways people make their styles unique. Color? Clips? Braids? Dreadlocks? Bangs?
Notice a billboard or media images – any trends for men? Women?
Why do they think trends keep changing?
Explain that some cultures, countries and religions have specific expectations about how people should wear their hair. Many faiths have rules. Sikh men and women don’t cut their hair. Native Americans.
Explore hair guidelines or expectations in your faith and those of your friends.
Are there any expectations at their school? Do any kids get teased for how they wear their hair?
Does a person’s choice of hair style tell us something about them?

That Looks Uncomfortable! { }

This conversation explores the ‘price’ we often willingly pay for the privilege of fitting in our social or job-related groups.

Our choice of clothing is one of the easiest and fastest way of telling the world about who we are – or who we want the world to believe we are. We all want to be loved and appreciated. Clothing sends messages about our gender or faith or social status or favorite teams or … the list goes on. Sometimes these rules get defined for us. For example, for centuries in China women bound their feet to keep them small – because small feet were considered beautiful. In the western world, corsets squeezed the breath out of women so they could meet society’s expectations for a small waist.

See if you can come up with some ways that people today put up with some discomfort in order to make a ‘fashion statement.’ (High heels, jeans worn so low they are about to fall off, body piercings, facial waxing, hair straightening, cosmetic surgery, skin lightening.)

Discuss some of the ways you ‘endure’ either uncomfortable clothing or uncomfortable grooming practices. Share why it is important to you – and that it is okay. A little. Stepping up to your group’s ‘look’ can be a healthy way of demonstrating respect and belonging. But it can go too far.

Imagine some expectations that might come their way. What if you were a member of a sports team and all the other members wanted to get a team tattoo?

Clothes Can Show Faith { }

These conversation suggestions can help your child appreciate how the clothes we wear often tell the world something about what we believe or feel is important. Many religious communities develop specific ways for people in their communities to show their connections – that they belong to a shared belief community.

Here is an image from the Amish community. Read more …
What messages are they sending about what is important to them? About their values?
Explore evidence of different faiths in their lives.
- How might we know that someone is a Muslim?
- Judaism?
- Sikhs?
- Christian? (wearing crosses? Any other ways?)
- Mormons?
- First Peoples?
- Buddhists?
- Wiccans?
- The list goes on. Think about each of the global regions and the faiths you might find in each one. How do they each show belonging?
When people wear clothing that indicates something about their faith, is it like people who want to wear clothing showing their favorite team? How is it the same? Different?
What can’t you tell based on their clothing? Can you tell if they like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches just like you? Can you tell what they like for music?
Are there kids in your school who wear clothes that might indicate their faith? Does it make a difference to you?
I remember the first time I saw someone from ( ) faith, …. Here’s what I felt and learned.

Play Clothes { }

Have a conversation about how important it is to you that they be comfy in their clothes. Play clothes are their everyday clothes. They don’t have to be careful or worry about getting dirty.

Sometimes we want to wear clothes for a nicer kind of time, like parties, or going to church. We call these dress clothes.

Have a project together where you go through your and their closets and dressers. Decide which clothes are play clothes and which are dress clothes.

Who Are You to Judge? { }

This conversation might open your child’s eyes to the pressure people feel about how they dress. And to perhaps begin to recognize how cliques can bully or intimidate those who don’t have the resources to keep up with the current styles.

Begin with a discussion about how kids dress at their school. Are there kids in school who appear to be rich? Can you tell me about it? What do you see that suggests that? Any kids in school that look poor? What do you see that suggests that?

Do kids talk about what other kids are wearing? Has anyone mentioned something you wore – in a nice way? Has anyone ever teased you about what you wore?

Do kids ever gossip about or make fun of what some kids are wearing? What do they think is funny?

One thing we know is that, by making fun of others, they are also telling YOU what is acceptable or not. It can be almost like a threat. If you want to be in my group, here are the rules. They are showing you that you will get made fun of too – if you don’t dress the way they think you should dress. That’s one of the reasons kids worry so much about what they wear to school. Having friends is so important.

Are you happy with the clothes you wear? Is there anything you would like to change if you could?

Let’s think for a minute about those kids whose parents don’t have much money – or at least not enough to buy their kids lots of clothes. How would you feel if you knew that what you were wearing looked old – or old fashioned?

Sometimes these kids get isolated just because they can’t dress trendy. They get left out of things. They may be super funny – or super nice – but they don’t have many friends. Do you know anyone in your school who may be experiencing that?

Is there anything we can do to make things a little easier for them? (When we hear someone making fun of them – say “Hey. I think they’re cool. You should get to know them.” Or simply making the effort to sit with them at lunch – and get to know them.)

Decisions. Decisions. { }

This conversation with your young child can build their awareness of motivation. Often we simply say we like / don’t like something without diving into the ‘why’s. of our choices’

Ask your child to pick out an article of clothing for an upcoming ‘event.’ Going to a party – or a movie – or …

Once a decision is made, ask …

Why do you like this one? For today? (This may be difficult for them because it delves into the arena of ‘taste.’ Their reasons may be totally subconscious at this point. Keep asking “Can you think of any other reasons?” Cool? Fit? Color? It’s like other kids are wearing? It’s like what ( ) wore. Etc. )
Are there times you think this is perfect and other times you think something else would be better? Why? How can you tell? (Again, be patient.)
Talk about what you will wear – and why.

Walk a Mile in My Shoes { }

This conversation/game with your young child will help them explore the nexus of fashion and purpose.

Cut out pictures of different kinds of shoes with your child. Put the pictures (or just the words) in a stack on the table. Boots. Sneakers. Fuzzy Slippers. Horseshoes. Sandals. Cowboy boots. Flippers. Cast (like a broken foot). Mocassins. Clown shoes. Elf shoes. Baby shoes. Ballet. Ski boots. Work boots. High heels. Snowshoes. Wooden shoes. Other ideas?

Take turns turning over a card and acting out what wearing them would look like. See if they can guess.

Why Men Don’t Wear Pearls { }

It sounds so simple, doesn’t it. What is there to say about watches, rings, earrings, etc. But there is a world worth exploring with your child.

Whether it’s a woven bracelet at camp or a necklace with a locket, we adorn ourselves with items that carry special meaning.
Because jewelry is often expensive, because people have to save up for it, it’s often seen as having extra meaning. Very often people engrave extra special messages – personal messages.
Both men and women wear rings, earrings, chains, brooches, watches, nose and tongue piercings (sorry – had to go there)
Do crowns count as jewelry?
Long ago people used to weave hair from their dead relatives into jewelry as a way to remember them. What do you think about that?
People use jewelry to tell the world about their faith, their schools, their sports teams, their ethnicity, their favorite beaches and vacation spots, their pets, holidays, their military service – their birthday stones. You get the picture.
Explore how they see the difference between men’s and women’s jewelry. Maybe check out pictures of their favorite performers and see what they wear.
Ask them why they think men don’t (generally) wear pearls?

For a while after you have the discussion, it will be fun to notice/point out examples when you see them. Find a claddagh or school ring? People wearing crosses? Holiday earrings?

Showing Belonging { }

This conversation can help you explore with your child the ways we all show commitment to our groups/teams/communities.

Ask your child about the ways the people in this photo are showing that they are part of the same team. What might happen if someone in this group didn’t clap with the others? What if someone decided not to wear the uniform that day?

Being a part of a group is always important to us so we just naturally choose to show agreement and support if at all possible. Sometimes we do even if we don’t like/agree with the rest of the group. Have you ever been with a group of friends who did or said something mean to another student – and it made you uncomfortable? What did you do? Speaking up is difficult – because we know we might lose those friends. And they might start being mean to us.

Some differences are fine – maybe even good. But sometimes we have to make sure the world understands the real us –

Photograph: STR/AFP/Getty

Stereotypes { }

The purpose of these discussion ideas is to build awareness of how and why people talk about people in groups as if they are all the same. Ultimately we want them to be able to recognize this in their own thoughts and behaviors.

Definition: A stereotype is a preconceived notion, especially about a group of people. This is often due to a lack of exposure and understanding. Many stereotypes are negative, such as racism, sexism, or homophobia.

When your child is exposed to a stereotype that you see as insensitive, initiate a discussion that explores:

Sometimes groups think it makes their group look better if they make other groups look bad. It can show up as teasing, shaming or bullying people who are different from them.
Let’s think about groups we belong to. Favorite sports team? Faith? Ethnicity? Gender? Music preference? Do we ever experience people assuming things about each of our groups that aren’t true? Consider sharing some of the stereotypes you (as a parent) have had to experience.
How does it feel when people think they know something about you that isn’t true?
How does it feel when you don’t get to participate in activities that interest you – just because of stereotypes?
Occasionally note examples of stereotypes in images or movies and TV. “It looks like they are talking about a group as if they are all the same. Is it meant to be funny? Do you think the people in that stereotyped group would be okay with it?”
Let’s notice and help one another spot images that may make some people feel bad about themselves.
If someone starts making fun of a group or an individual in a group, you might want to say something like, “I think those words could hurt someone’s feelings. Can we find better words or a better way?”

Ceremonial Attire { }

The purpose of these discussion ideas is to help your child understand the role clothing plays in important ceremonies in life. Clothing adds solemnity and serves to indicate the special stature of officiants. Although the image and quote in the attached article relate to Catholicism, these discussion ideas provide you with a perfect opportunity to explore some of the details of your faith with your child. Bottom line? Clothing matters.

A priest recognized that those “clothes are not just about me, they are about my relationship with everyone out there. When I wear that black clerical shirt in public, when I pull that white tab across my throat, I am giving myself to them. The people I encounter then, they no longer see the ‘me’ I’d like them to see…Instead, they see ‘priest.’” Read full article.

Why do you think (ceremonial leaders) wear special clothing? What if they dressed like everyone else?
Do you think we should act differently with them when they are wearing their special clothing? Are they still the friendly person we know, or are they actually a slightly different person?
Do special clothes bring special powers?
Explore the symbolic aspects of the special garments. Gold signifies … The shape of the sleeve reflects …
What have you noticed about how judges dress? Do you think it makes a difference?
Occasionally point out to one another when you notice someone wearing ceremonial clothing.

Lego my Logo { }

The purpose of these discussions is to help children recognize and appreciate the intention and power of smart design. More than any generation, their surroundings are saturated with visual messaging, each one offering the potential to help them show coolness, belonging and individuality. Using brands as personal identifiers can seem like an easy solution to social challenges. Bottom line – it is important to understand that these logos are marketing – meant to sell.

Some discussion points when you see a Nike logo …

What do you think of the Nike logo? What do you think of when you see it?
Does it tell you anything about what you can expect when you buy any Nike product?
If you had two identical sneakers, but only one had the logo on it, which one would you choose? Why?
Have you heard that the logo is called the Nike swoosh? What does that word make you think about?
Have you heard Nike’s slogan, “Just do it!” What do you think the slogan means? Why do you think Nike chose that slogan?
Companies use logos and slogans to encourage us to buy their products. They want us to feel that, by wearing their logo, that we are telling the world something special about who we are and what we stand for.
Are there popular brands in your school?
Do you have any favorites? Why do you like those brands

Fashion as Political Statement { }

The intention of these conversation starters is to help your child recognize political statements being made with fashion. Perhaps they have participated in a march already – or have worn a cap or a pin supporting a candidate or a cause. These are powerful expressions of belonging – publicly sharing their ideas and commitments. It is also a vehicle for standing apart and expressing individuality. Art in real life – on the edge.

In 2018, millions of people marched in Washington and in cities all across the country and around the world. They were protesting – coming together to voice their concerns about women’s rights and other causes. Many wore pink hats as a signifier of what they believed.
Would the march have been as effective without the hats?
Many people wear pins to express their preference for particular political candidates. Do you think people should wear their campaign pins to work? Do you think it makes a difference if someone’s boss wears one?

What You Wear On Your Head Can Be Your Introduction { }

These discussion ideas can help your young child appreciate how many important things people communicate just with what they wear on their heads.

Begin by noticing – fire helmets, construction worker helmets. Why do you think they wear those kinds of hats? What if they wore scarves instead?
Law enforcement – Why do you think it’s important for all members of the police force to wear the same kinds of hats. What information do you think it on those hats?
Faith – can you find any examples of people who are expressing their faith with what they are wearing on their heads?
Cowboy hats. Do you think they have a function other than making a statement about a way of life?
Sports – each sport has its own kind of hats. No one would wear a swim cap to the golf course.
Some people wear their baseball caps backwards. Why do you think they do that?
Bunny ears and reindeer antlers? Wizard hat?

Fashion

Here are a few pointers:

Finding the moment.

Space & time.

Introducing the topics with care.

Fatigue.

Pace.

Conversation – not lesson.

Easy and safe.

Enjoy.

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