Theater

Children are master pretenders. They don’t just play a part. They play all the parts. They work through their issues over and over. One day you’ll see playmobile figures crying for mommy. Another you will overhear one being mean to the others. And of course there are the uncomfortable times when you see lots of figures missing limbs – or their heads! It’s a scary world and there is much readying to do.

Practice makes perfect. Theater skills are central to our children’s development, helping them understand and manage how they express themselves with their bodies, voices and words. Self-expression in context. Social skills. After all, we all know that “all the world is a stage,” right?

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Intro: Talking With Our Children { }

We believe that art is not a separate discipline from just plain living. Just as you wouldn’t break the fun by saying, “This is a lesson about language arts” each time you sing the Alphabet song or read a book, so too we hope you can treat the suggestions in this website as part of your daily interplay with your child. These conversations should feel like extensions of their play, not a new agenda. If the conversations feel natural – introduced and abandoned with ease, children will begin to assume that discussion of feelings and expression of feelings is what one talks about. They can happen anywhere, anytime. You can be a twosome or a foursome or … Just begin and enjoy.

Here are a few pointers:

Finding the moment.

Maybe it’s a quiet play moment, or one when your child is inviting you into the pretend. The mood should be easy. Once you have had a few of these conversations it will be easier to spot the opportunities.

Space & time.

These conversations can run anywhere from a couple of minutes to a long, deep dialogue. It is best if it is relatively quiet, somewhat private (even if the conversation is with a group). Car rides, setting the table, brushing teeth.

Introducing the topics with care.

Not because they are difficult to discuss. (They’re not. They’re fun.) It shouldn’t feel like a change in conversation but a part of a conversation.

Fatigue.

The questions may seem simple. And it will flow naturally into more exploration. But remember that these simple questions can require real thought – especially as your children start to explore issues of individuality and belonging. One or two – then step away.

Pace.

There’s no hurry. Sometimes a child will hear the question, wonder, then not answer. That’s okay. To fill in the gap, consider telling one of your stories related to the question. There’s learning – and connecting – in that too.

Conversation – not lesson.

Enough said.

Easy and safe.

Sometimes you may feel a little frustrated by what you are hearing. Ease is important. No judging.

Enjoy.

There will be many tender moments. And you might find out a thing or two about yourself.

Shared Rituals: Fasting { }
The purpose of this discussion is to help your child see how sharing rituals can help people stay connected to their community.

Every group – especially every faith – stays connected because they agree on what is important. Sports teams really value working hard and supporting one another. Educational groups value learning and mutual support. Scouting groups value trustworthiness and preparedness. These communities always have ways of reminding members about how important these values are. These rituals might be pledges or ceremonies or even standard ways of greeting one another.

Many faiths value gratitude, humility and generosity. They want us to appreciate that others may not be as lucky as we are. So they establish holidays – special times when everyone in the group agrees to live life differently for a while.
- What would you feel or think if, starting right now, I said you couldn’t have any food for a whole day?
- Would it make a difference if everyone around you had lots of food? Would it make it more difficult?
- What if your community agreed to fast together, but one of you friends decided to not participate. They decided to eat anything they wanted – all day. Why do you think they might do that? Would you do that?
- Do you think going hungry intentionally helps people empathize with people in the world who are living in poverty?
- When the fast is over, do you think you might see things differently than you did before the fast?
Ritual: A Fresh Start { }

“Hey, I’d like to rewind and start again.” The purpose of this discussion is to introduce and explore the concept of a fresh start – the ritual of recognizing that things may not be going great so it’s time to reboot.

Sometimes we find ourselves in the middle of something that isn’t working the way we wanted it to. When that happens we can actually do something about it. It’s called a fresh start. A fresh start means that we acknowledge that we want to do something differently.

Imagine you came downstairs one morning and hurried into the kitchen, accidentally knocking the juice container onto the floor. You join your parents in the clean up – but they definitely seem a little irked. When the clean up is done … it is a perfect time to say, “Hey, I’d like to rewind and start again.” You then back out of the room and re-enter this time carefully noticing what is around you. It can be a fun way to say ‘Ooops.”

A fresh start can be even more important for bigger things. If you haven’t been trying really hard on your sports team – or if you are in the middle of a project and you see that it won’t ever work – you can commit to a change. “Look, Coach, I know I haven’t been doing my best so far. I am sorry. From this point on I will try harder.”

Have you ever had a conversation with a friend where you can see that they are misunderstanding what you are trying to say? Next time that happens you can say something like, “I think I got off to a bad start because I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. Can we pretend I didn’t say it and let me try again from the beginning?

Fresh starts. Many religions help people get fresh starts with rituals and special holidays. Consider creating a unique family ‘sign’ for restart. Can we try that again, but this time ….?
I Really Really Promise { }

Words matter. Have a conversation with your child about oaths and promises. “When Presidents are sworn in at their inaugurations, they put their hands on a bible – or other sacred religious documents.”

Sometimes we put our hands on our hearts, or pinky-swear.

Talk about some of the oaths or vows you have taken. Describe the situations – what they meant to you. How they felt. Did things change? Discuss how some promises have very specific rituals to be followed (like joining the military – or getting married – or joining the scouts. And some have very specific words that must be said.

Act out an oath – like the inauguration using the actual scripts. Consider dressing like the Chief Justice. Discuss the consequences for getting the words wrong.

Ask them about promises they have made. How do kids at school show that they really really promise.

Discuss what can or should happen when you need to break a promise.
Acting: Inside – Outside { }
This discussion can help your child appreciate that there is a difference between having feelings and showing feelings. It gets right to the heart of children’s constant struggle between belonging and being special.
- Notice characters in books or videos. What do you think that character might be feeling?
- What clues are you using? Get them to notice, not just facial expressions, but body language.
- If someone feels happy, show me how they might show they are happy. Sad. Tired. Frustrated. Scared. Lonely.
- Join in.
- Then – try combinations. If someone was happy and tired …..? Angry but in a hurry? Take turns making up combinations the other has to do. Get silly.
- Can you think of times that someone might choose to act happy even if they weren’t?
- Share some personal stories from when you were a child when you didn’t want others to know what you were really feeling.
- Why might people not want to share their real feelings? Have you ever been nervous but tried to hide it? (An obvious example is the pressure kids feel NOT to cry.)
- Being a friend sometimes means that we focus on harmony rather than on differences.
- Share a story or two about times when you chose to hold your real feelings til the time was right.
- Being able to pretend or delay can be one way of showing love. Of keeping the focus on your friend for a while rather than on you.
- Can you think of times when it is important NOT to hide your real feelings? Talk about times when you took a stand and told someone what you really felt in the moment even though it was difficult to do.
Script: Say it like you mean it. { }

This conversation can help your child recognize the choices we make everyday in what and how we express what is important to us. How we can ‘act’ grateful because we appreciate the efforts and circumstances of others in our lives.

Can we talk about those times when we get gifts that we really don’t like? Mention some times when you were growing up when that happened? Ask them about when they have felt that way?

What we actually feel may not be the most important thing at the moment. Being a good and happy human being means living with one another – respecting and supporting one another.

Sometimes ‘we’ is more important than ‘me.’

Lots of times the gifts people give are more like gestures of love. They are little things that say “I thought of you on this special day.” THAT is the real gift – thinking of you and acknowledging how special you are to them.

So, even if the actual gift seems disappointing, it’s always important to remember why they gave it to you. And for that we must always show gratitude. Like we mean it. That gives you a super-power – to make someone you care about feel special too.
Puppets!!!! { }
Puppets can stimulate children’s imagination, encourage creative play and discovery. But the most glorious power of puppets is that, when your child engages with them, their reaction is real. If the puppet is sad, your child will automatically try to comfort – not pretend to comfort. If the puppet keeps interrupting them, your child will deal with the problem – not pretend to deal with the problem. By bringing stuffed animals or other inanimate objects to life, you have the opportunity to deal with real feelings or events in their lives.
- Consider having a puppet who always seems worried about growing up. They can turn to your child as an older mentor. Let the child guide and comfort.
- A puppet has been bullied and doesn’t understand why people do that.
- The puppet can do something a little rude, then deny doing it. Help your child encourage the puppet, to show that they understand how hard it can be sometimes to admit doing something wrong.
- Have the puppet ask you something about your day – something you want your child to hear/understand. As you tell your story, have the puppet look to the child, nod and make sure your child is listening. The puppet can turn to the child and say something like, “Wow. That’s a surprise. How did you know what to do?”
- The puppet can share their feelings about something then ask your child about their feelings. Have the puppet nod to show listening, or lay their head on your child’s shoulder to show understanding.
- For all of these activities, engaging with puppets gives you a chance to see and experience your child’s emotional state or developmental progress.
- The puppet might join your family for dinner or watching a show together – being silly or curious.
The Power of Pretend … { }
One of the special powers of theater is that, by bringing a character to life, the actor is able to relate to that character’s real experience. It can bring insights, empathy and self awareness. The purpose of these activities is to help your child step into new worlds easily and playfully. When you meet them in that pretend world, all sorts of new discoveries await.
- Let’s pretend to be … animals. See if you can guess what animal.
- Then – pretend to be a cow who wants all the daisies but the other cows are eating them too quickly
- A butterfly who can’t decide what pretty flower to visit.
- A dog who can’t remember where he buried his bone.
- Then – move on to people and situations. First, pretend to be a fussy baby. (Kids LOVE to be fussy babies.) Someone who is too tired to eat their meal. Someone who doesn’t want to wake up.
- Finally, onto real people. Can you act out mommy when you spill something in the back of the car. Pretend to be grandpa trying to find his glasses. Pretend to be your teacher teaching a science lesson. Pretend to be a bully and then pretend to be someone who stands up to the bully.
- Have some fun pretending to be your child in a common situation.
- You can make a routine of anticipating upcoming, perhaps stressful, situations. Play out ways they could deal with them. Let’s pretend all the kids at the party are talking and someone feels left out.
Scripts: Greetings! { }
The purpose of these discussion ideas is to help your child appreciate that all the world is really a stage. Learning a few basic manners (scripts) helps us all interact with our community – easing our way and getting us all through common situations while showing respect and care. By hearing and learning the words and actions, and by being able to turn to them when the situation demands, they can show that they respect others and want to belong. They grow into the community.
- Help your child appreciate the importance of greeting others – the importance of hello and good-by.
- Can you imagine what the world would be like if we didn’t greet each other? What if someone came into our home and we didn’t even look up? What would happen? What might they feel?
- Manners help us all know how to handle those situations easily.
- Sometimes it can be quick and easy – like “Hi!” while catching each other’s eyes. Is this how you and your friends greet each other? Do you have other ways?
- Other times, especially when we meet someone for the first time, we give our names, look into each others eyes and shake hands. That’s a little more formal. How would you feel if there was someone in your group that you hadn’t met? Knowing how to greet makes it easy for everyone.
- Let’s think about if a friend had dinner at our house and they just left and we didn’t know it. What would that be like for you? Why do you think saying good-by is important?
- And while we are at it, if that friend had dinner with us and just left, are there other words it would be important for us to hear?
- Before you go to an event or celebration where you know your child will be meeting new people, have some fun anticipating and practicing.
Mime (Is Pretending a Better Word?) { }
I know. Scary thought. But the point of this activity is for kids to get acting/pretending, noticing specific characteristics of individuals in their lives and have fun doing it.
- Make your own game. Make small folded cards with actions listed. (Eating soup with a fork, jumping on a trampoline, getting married, etc. ) The more activity cards the better.
- You take turns drawing a card. Consider having a time limit for older kids.
- Act out the activity.
- Applause – for effort
- Decide if you want any competition. You could get points for guessing it right. Or points for getting someone to name it correctly in the shortest amount of time. Or vote at the end for the funniest.
Scripts: Navigating Social Challenges { }
Kids are aware of the importance of being able to successfully navigate through their social worlds. They instinctively know that they are destined to find their own way some day – and correctly fear being ostracized or isolated. They need to belong; they need to know how to belong. The purpose of these conversations is to help them anticipate and practice basic social situations in advance, increasing the likelihood that they will thrive.
- In anticipation of an upcoming event, ‘Let’s walk through what will happen at this (wedding/ graduation/ funeral/ etc.). That way it will be easier for us to relax and participate.’
- First, have a quick discussion about what everyone will be wearing – as a way to show respect.
- Then imagine each step from the time you enter the event. ‘When we first get there, we might have to introduce ourselves before going over to ….’ Practice the greeting – you as greeter. ‘Does that sound okay?’ ‘Your turn.’
- Continue to think about whom you will meet inside, group activities, etc., always helping your child see their way through.
- ‘What if …” imagine a series of possibilities with your child. What if some cousins want you to run through the halls? What if someone spills their punch? What if you can’t find me? In each scenario, model some basic responses and ask if they have other ideas.
- Get in the preparation habit. If you know your child is having trouble with some classmates, do a walk through. Do a role play.
- If your child tends to shy away from joining in, help them imagine possibilities and consequences. ‘What if you just walked up and said you would like to join them, what might they say?’ Act it out. You act out their role and they act out the classmates role – then flip roles. Make sure they can find a way to feeling safe.
- Occasionally go through the same process related to one of your upcoming challenges. Show your interest in making the situation as successful as it can be for both you and your friend. Practice a response and ask your child what they think?
- The bottom line is modeling some natural anxiety, care, respect and increased comfort when you have thought it through or acted it out.
Acting: Confidence { }

This conversation is a chance to explore how we can use our bodies and voices to express confidence, even if we aren’t feeling super-confident on the inside.

Spend a few minutes talking about parties and social events. How, when you were young, sometimes you were really nervous and didn’t know how to act. Or where to stand. Or what to do with your arms. Explore with your child what nervous looks like. How does it show up in how people act?

There were always other kids there who seemed confident – and looked like they were having fun. Explore what confident looks like?

What do you suppose is the difference? Why might some feel confident – and others not? Always – a very big part of the story – is that people feel confident when they know what is going to happen and they know what to say or do. They aren’t afraid.

Find some times to act out a scenario or two. Maybe riding home from school? At the dinner table. Informal. Light. It shouldn’t feel like a lesson. Simple exposure – repeated exposure – to the basic interactions is all it takes. Developing something akin to muscle memory – so they don’t even have to think about it when the situations arise.
Learning to Read Basic Body Language { }

The purpose of these exercises is to build awareness that how we “act” is in our control and that it tells a story about us. How we walk into a room may link us to a certain clique. How we greet people can communicate emotion. And all of this can reflect our values, such as working together, respect or even honesty. How likely are you to trust someone who won’t look you in the eye?

While sitting at a traffic light, take turns imagining the story of what is going on in passers-by based on how they carry themselves – how they are moving. “I spy tired.” Busy. Late. Boyfriend with girlfriend.

How does your child carry him/herself? This is such a sensitive and volatile topic. If your child is simply trying to keep his/her body changes private by slouching, it is certainly understandable. But somewhere in there is the opportunity to begin to use that body to tell the world the positive news about the new them. What they like. Their energy. Their willingness to engage with people around them. Eventually they will be able to align and integrate their insides with their outsides. It takes practice.

With all of these potentially intimate discussions it is important to engage initially around observation of others. Build awareness of the vocabulary of walking, or greeting or sitting at the table. They will learn to interpret and get meaning. I would suggest that rarely should the discussion turn to them specifically. They get it and probably will demand to figure this out privately.
Should We Wear Our Hearts On Our Sleeves? { }

This conversation can help your child appreciate the difference between having feelings and expressing those feelings. Learning to modulate and manage expression is a key part in getting along with others and belonging to a community. The common phrase, wearing your heart on your sleeve, means to make your feelings and opinions obvious to other people.

Explore the advantages and disadvantages of displaying what you are feeling.

Go through emotions one at a time – discuss the impact of showing (or not showing) each one. Love? Silliness? impatience? Boredom? Anger? Gratitude? Brainstorm some best ways for each.

As parents, we may want to give lots of hugs and kisses to our kids as they head off to school. We want to show our love. Any thoughts on when that is a good thing? And not a good thing?
What is Real? What is Pretend? { }
Okay, so if, as adults, we struggle with what is fake news, how likely is it that our children have it all figured out? The purpose of these conversation ideas is to help children understand that much of what they see ‘in real life’ is performance. To get them thinking. All the world is a stage and we can help them appreciate and discern.
- When kids are very young, introduce a ‘real or not’ habit. Start and stay relatively easy. Cartoon characters. Superman? What is real about Superman or Superwoman? There are real people pretending but they can’t really fly. As a parent, pretend to be a superhero and talk about why we enjoy those stories.
- If someone isn’t happy but they are pretending to be happy, what might be going on?
- Politics provide lots of opportunities to discern. How can you tell when a candidate is telling what they really feel or believe vs what they want the story to be? Explore the concept of ‘staying on message.’
- In their real life – explore situations when people may pretend to agree, feel, etc. Why do people do that? Do you do that?
- Bottom line – the Shakespeare quote, “All the world’s a stage …,” is always a helpful context. In real life. Explore intentions behind statements.
The Senior Thespian – You! { }
Role playing is an important way children learn about themselves and others. By assuming roles of kings and queens, teachers and presidents, they get to experience situations they might never come across in real life. By taking the lead, by shape-shifting unexpectedly, you can bring crowds of new acquaintances into their lives. By responding and eventually initiating in character, your child builds confidence and empathy. And it is all so much fun.
- Become a haughty queen as you serve lunch. Insist on silly rituals in order to be allowed to eat.
- A king who doesn’t recognize most of his utensils.
- A cowboy who reads nighttime stories.
- A French painter who is fussy about setting the table.
- A newscaster reporting on what the child is doing.
- An astronaut floating around.
- Someone who just doesn’t want to be seen.
- Encourage them to pretend their own characters – or join you in your imaginary world.
Different scene. Different performance. { }
The purpose of these discussion ideas is to help children recognize that we all adjust how we act based on context – and that can be a good thing.
- An easy way to introduce this concept can be as you prepare to attend an event with a little more formality than what they are accustomed to.
- We’re going to Auntie’s wedding and its important that we all are ready to help make it special. Not only do we dress up a little, we also want to be sure we don’t distract from their celebration. So we will be sure to sit still during the ceremony. And we will practice good manners by introducing ourselves. to new people …
- Can you think of other situations where people act differently? Can you run around at a party? At Grandma’s house? At church?
- How do you know and how do you decide?
- Share some stories from your childhood when you noticed people were acting differently and you didn’t know quite how to act. Visiting a family from a different faith?
- But – the most important part of this discussion is to help your child understand that, no matter what, they don’t violate their values. Talk about your values – respect, kindness, etc.
- Adjusting how you act can be a way of showing respect to hosts.
- Doing something you know is wrong just in order to belong to a group …. very different. Mention a time you felt uncomfortable with a social situation and how you handled it.
Rehearsing Manners { }

Children need to learn how to interact in basic social situations politely and with confidence. Basic greetings, introductions, taking phone messages, table skills, holding doors, etc. Children who have these skills under their belts will be able to find their way in the world more comfortably and successfully.

Children can understand that manners help people feel at ease and safe. As they practice, help them find personal variations. On your way to a social event, make a habit of reviewing the basics. Encourage them to be proud and to have fun.
Script: Thoughts and Prayers? { }
Consoling a friend can feel overwhelming for kids. “I just don’t know what to say.” Learning a script or two, or acting them out, can help them through that first contact, connecting them again with their friend. Discuss/practice a few phrases.
- I’m so sorry to hear that your ( ) has died.
- I will miss your ( ) too; I liked him/her.
- Talk about sitting close and being quiet with them. Being quiet together can be just what your friend needs. It may be hard for them to talk about it at first.
- If your friend cries, you can reach out to put your arm on their back – to stand with them. Or just hold their hand. Or just say again how sorry you are.
- Help your child appreciate that their friend may want to talk about other things. Sometimes doing something quiet together can make the day easier. Let your friend take the lead.
- Act it out with them, showing how it can look and sound. Look into their eyes. Ask if they have any other ideas
- Talk a bit about funerals. What they should expect. Help them appreciate that the sadness will get better over time and there will just be more remembering
Script: A bossy friend? { }
These discussion points explore peer pressure. You may want to role play a few situations so they can feel more prepared if the situation arises.
- Consider role playing. Imagine an uncomfortable situation where someone is criticizing someone for how they look. Make a list of all the things you could say or do if that happens. Which response do you think is the best one?
- Are there some kids in your school who seem to decide what is cool, or who is popular? Do they make fun of kids who don’t follow their lead?
- Has anyone ever made fun of one of your friends? How did it make you feel? What did you say or do? Can you act out what they said?
- Do you ever worry before you go to school about how people will react to what you are wearing or about your hair?
- If someone were to be pressured to leave some old friends behind in order to stay in a group, what do you think they should do? What could they say to be true to themselves? Act it out.
- Share stories from your childhood. Tell them when you felt fearful or embarrassed or were teased? Act it out.
Upspeak { }

This conversation can build your child’s awareness of speech patterns and how they can differ across groups. Upspeak is the habit of ending every sentence as if it is a question. It seems to indicate uncertainty with every statement – as if looking for agreement or approval. Bringing awareness of this ubiquitous habit may help your child limit its use.

First – Awareness. Can they notice it in others? When watching TV together – a point goes to the first person to notice/name it when they see it.

Second – Understanding. Why would the tentative tone of Upspeak be a benefit or a disadvantage? Does it say something about the speaker? Why might this pattern be more frequently used by girls than boys?

Finally – do we use it?

Parents: Use care and patience if you have an upspeaker. Probably not a good idea to even name it. This pattern is often intricately linked to the groups to which they belong. It is so easy for any comment to feel like criticism – and it can get you marginalized.

Like – like – long ago I thought I would be clever to address my daughter’s overuse (in my opinion) of the word ‘like.’ She would like use it like ever other word. I learned my lesson.
Act Your Age! { }

This conversation can help your child appreciate how much we are ‘in choice’ about how we act throughout the day. And that, the older we get, the more the world expects us to act in socially acceptable and supportive ways. We learn how to act.

Ask your child what the phrase ‘Act Your Age’ means. What might an eight-year-old kid do that would seem more appropriate for a three-year-old? (Temper tantrum? Throw things? Cry? Pee in his pants?)

Do you think it’s fair to expect an eight-year-old to act differently? Why? (Because they have to be on their own in school? Because they are allowed to ride their bike three blocks away from home and they need to show they can be trusted? Because they are on their way to becoming a grown up?) It shows they are learning about the world and can get along with others – and be safe.

Have you ever seen anyone at school who didn’t act their age? What happened?

Why do you think kids sometimes don’t act their age? (They don’t know what they are supposed to do. If they act they way at home it gets them what they want. Any other reasons?)
Showing Belonging { }

This conversation can help you explore with your child the ways we all show commitment to our groups/teams/communities.

Ask your child about the ways the people in this photo are showing that they are part of the same team. What might happen if someone in this group didn’t clap with the others? What if someone decided not to wear the uniform that day?

Being a part of a group is always important to us so we just naturally choose to show agreement and support if at all possible. Sometimes we do even if we don’t like/agree with the rest of the group. Have you ever been with a group of friends who did or said something mean to another student – and it made you uncomfortable? What did you do? Speaking up is difficult – because we know we might lose those friends. And they might start being mean to us.

Some differences are fine – maybe even good. But sometimes we have to make sure the world understands the real us –

Photograph: STR/AFP/Getty
Manners Meals { }
The purpose of these conversation ideas is to explore the rituals of serving a meal and dining in a more formal setting. They will experience how care and rituals make a difference. And, surely, a day will come when you will give their hand a quick squeeze or give a special wink because, unexpectedly, the game is on.
- Playing with a tea set or picnic set can be an easy way to introduce the rituals around preparing a table for a meal. If you don’t have a play set, you can cut out cardboard shapes they can play/practice with.
- Try setting a play table (or real one) with one side set with a random stack of dishes and silverware all in a pile – and a second setting set up carefully.
  - Does it make a difference to you? Does one setting make you feel more special than the other?
  - By setting the table the same way each time, you always can see that everything is there – and it is even easier for diners to find what they need.
- Part of the ritual is for all to begin together. Eating together is a very special time. You can make sure you pass food so everyone is taken care of.
- Discuss other table manners and why they are important.
- Plan a special meal – and well in advance – get your child’s help in planning the table setting.
- Make their efforts special by having some cut flowers they can use.
- Begin the meal with a thank you. Encourage them to talk about how they decided to do things the way they did.
- Practice best manners – as posh as you can be.
Script: How to Disagree With a Friend { }
If you notice that your child is experiencing distance or tension from a once-favored friend, you can support – from the side. If they are uncomfortable sharing what the problem is, you can still help.
- Would it be okay if we talk about some ways to make it better?
- Do you think your friend understands the problem?
- Can you think of some reasons they (… whatever they did to hurt your child’s feelings)?
- Suggest they start by saying to their friend, “I need to talk about something that is important to me, and I’m uncomfortable about it. Is it okay if we talk about the problem?
- “I think you might be angry with me – because you’ve stopped talking with me – but I really don’t understand why.” Can you help me understand?” Or …
- “I know you probably didn’t mean to hurt me, but the other day when you ( ) and I was really embarrassed. And sad. That’s why I haven’t spoken with you.”
- Or whatever your child tells you. Help them explore it and find the most direct and non-judgmental way to say it.
- “Remember, all the reasons you used to get along so well – are still in there. These kinds of things happen to everyone. You just need to put some words to it and you can find your way back – together.”
ROLE PLAY – Suggest role playing the conversation. If you know what to expect, then you can be ready. Want to give it a try? “I can play you – and you play your friend.” This approach reduces the tension a little. Get silly.

Try it a few times in a few different ways. Let them figure out what works best for them. It might take them a few days to actually reach out – but – when they do the odds are better that it will go well.
Religious Rituals as Theater! { }
Explain that all religions perform rituals to explain and remember the stories and values important to their faith. Acting out ceremonies and rituals are important ways people stay connected to each other and to their faith.
- Do you think the holiday would be as memorable if, instead of acting it out, they just handed out a page that tells the story?
- Let’s think about some rituals in our lives.
- Almost every religion has special rituals that are performed when people get married? Why do you think that is an important event to act out?
Applause as a Statement { }

These conversation ideas can help your child appreciate that applause is a way of expressing something – as a group.

Whenever we have enjoyed a performance – we humans have found a way to communicate our thanks – together. Rather than hearing a chorus of, thank you – oooo – well done – bravo – woo hoo – yay. all sounding like a big mumble, applause lets us communicate as a whole group. The more we liked a performance, the louder and longer we all clap. And then – the winner gets a standing ovation.

Sometimes applause is expected – or it is the polite thing to do. But what do we do if we are expected to applaud, but we really don’t like what we heard. Let’s check out this person.

Show your child the picture of Nancy Pelosi. “What do you think is going on in this photo?”

Did Speaker Pelosi feel she needed to applaud even if she didn’t agree with what was said? What kind of message do you think she is trying to send with the way she chose to applaud?

Are there times when it is okay (or even good) to choose a different way – and times when you think it is not okay? Spend a few minutes trying to find different – and silly?- ways to applaud that send messages other than appreciation. Photograph: Doug Mills/Pool via Reuter

Talking with our children about...

Theater

Here are a few pointers:

Finding the moment.

Space & time.

Introducing the topics with care.

Fatigue.

Pace.

Conversation – not lesson.

Easy and safe.

Enjoy.

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