Storytelling

Young children enjoy language. The magic of stories. Silly rhymes. Words make fun sounds AND they mean something! They see adults happily and easily communicating complex thoughts while they struggle to make the “r” sound.

Scholars have found that hearing and reading stories influence children’s understanding of their culture and social rules. They provide safe ways to explore strong emotions and to understand themselves.

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Intro: Talking With Our Children { }

We believe that art is not a separate discipline from just plain living. Just as you wouldn’t break the fun by saying, “This is a lesson about language arts” each time you sing the Alphabet song or read a book, so too we hope you can treat the suggestions in this website as part of your daily interplay with your child. These conversations should feel like extensions of their play, not a new agenda. If the conversations feel natural – introduced and abandoned with ease, children will begin to assume that discussion of feelings and expression of feelings is what one talks about. They can happen anywhere, anytime. You can be a twosome or a foursome or … Just begin and enjoy.

Here are a few pointers:

Finding the moment.

Maybe it’s a quiet play moment, or one when your child is inviting you into the pretend. The mood should be easy. Once you have had a few of these conversations it will be easier to spot the opportunities.

Space & time.

These conversations can run anywhere from a couple of minutes to a long, deep dialogue. It is best if it is relatively quiet, somewhat private (even if the conversation is with a group). Car rides, setting the table, brushing teeth.

Introducing the topics with care.

Not because they are difficult to discuss. (They’re not. They’re fun.) It shouldn’t feel like a change in conversation but a part of a conversation.

Fatigue.

The questions may seem simple. And it will flow naturally into more exploration. But remember that these simple questions can require real thought – especially as your children start to explore issues of individuality and belonging. One or two – then step away.

Pace.

There’s no hurry. Sometimes a child will hear the question, wonder, then not answer. That’s okay. To fill in the gap, consider telling one of your stories related to the question. There’s learning – and connecting – in that too.

Conversation – not lesson.

Enough said.

Easy and safe.

Sometimes you may feel a little frustrated by what you are hearing. Ease is important. No judging.

Enjoy.

There will be many tender moments. And you might find out a thing or two about yourself.

Ritual: A Fresh Start { }

“Hey, I’d like to rewind and start again.” The purpose of this discussion is to introduce and explore the concept of a fresh start – the ritual of recognizing that things may not be going great so it’s time to reboot.

Sometimes we find ourselves in the middle of something that isn’t working the way we wanted it to. When that happens we can actually do something about it. It’s called a fresh start. A fresh start means that we acknowledge that we want to do something differently.

Imagine you came downstairs one morning and hurried into the kitchen, accidentally knocking the juice container onto the floor. You join your parents in the clean up – but they definitely seem a little irked. When the clean up is done … it is a perfect time to say, “Hey, I’d like to rewind and start again.” You then back out of the room and re-enter this time carefully noticing what is around you. It can be a fun way to say ‘Ooops.”

A fresh start can be even more important for bigger things. If you haven’t been trying really hard on your sports team – or if you are in the middle of a project and you see that it won’t ever work – you can commit to a change. “Look, Coach, I know I haven’t been doing my best so far. I am sorry. From this point on I will try harder.”

Have you ever had a conversation with a friend where you can see that they are misunderstanding what you are trying to say? Next time that happens you can say something like, “I think I got off to a bad start because I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. Can we pretend I didn’t say it and let me try again from the beginning?

Fresh starts. Many religions help people get fresh starts with rituals and special holidays. Consider creating a unique family ‘sign’ for restart. Can we try that again, but this time ….?
Script: When people say mean things? { }
The purpose of this discussion is to help your child explore motivation for meanness – and be prepared to respond. They can have a script or two ready to go.
- Ask them if they have ever heard someone say something mean to someone else – or to them. Can they tell you about it? Share a story from your childhood.
- Together, think of possible reasons people act that way. Possibilities like …
  - They were angry at that other person and wanted to hurt them
  - They felt what they were saying was true
  - They wanted people to stop liking that other person – and like them instead.
- Do you think people should say anything to try to help the situation? Or should they ignore it?
  - What happens if you know what they said isn’t true and you say nothing?
  - Why do you think people most often say nothing?
- For each possibility, see if you can come up with something to say that helps – and stops the meanness. But doesn’t make things worse. Think about what you would want to have happen if someone was being mean to you. Brainstorm a few ideas – maybe even get a little silly and then pick the best answers
  - I’m not so sure that is true. Let’s just go.
  - You can say something nice about/to that person, showing you like them.
  - Later you can say to the person being mean, “Hey, what was up with that? Why would you say that in front of all of us?”
  - You can find a new friend
  - etc.
Script: I Am Sorry { }
The purpose of this discussion is to help your child appreciate the why and how of apologies. Words matter – a lot. Here are a few ways to explore ..
- Can you think of a time when someone used words that hurt your feelings? What were those words? Why did they hurt?
- We all make mistakes. I have hurt people’s feelings. I felt so bad and had to learn how to make things better.
- If we don’t try to correct the mistake – it can make it hard to be friends like we used to be. We think that person was mean or maybe doesn’t like us. We have a special word for making it better. It’s called an apology.
- Sometimes it seems hard to say I’m sorry because we are embarrassed – or because we didn’t mean to hurt – or we suddenly feel self conscious. So we try to act like everything is normal – hoping they will know we didn’t mean it. But – sooner or later – it is important to talk about it – and make it better.
- There is a good way to apologize. “I am sorry I said/did that. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I understand why it made you feel bad. And I won’t do it again.”
- Role play different – less successful – apologies. Introduce a little silliness.
- Practice really helps.
Sign Language: Tell Me – Without Words { }
Imagine you want to tell me you love me, but I am not able to hear your words. How might you communicate that idea to me? (Awww – thank you. That worked.) Many people are never able to hear (or even speak), but they are able to talk with friends and family using a special language – ASL.
- Let’s watch someone use that language to sing/sign “American the Beautiful.” …
- What did you notice? What sign did they use for “America?”
- Do you know anyone who has trouble hearing?
- Let’s learn a few basic signs – and see if we can use only sign language for one dinner each week.
ASL performer steals the show during Super Bowl national anthem
I Really Really Promise { }

Words matter. Have a conversation with your child about oaths and promises. “When Presidents are sworn in at their inaugurations, they put their hands on a bible – or other sacred religious documents.”

Sometimes we put our hands on our hearts, or pinky-swear.

Talk about some of the oaths or vows you have taken. Describe the situations – what they meant to you. How they felt. Did things change? Discuss how some promises have very specific rituals to be followed (like joining the military – or getting married – or joining the scouts. And some have very specific words that must be said.

Act out an oath – like the inauguration using the actual scripts. Consider dressing like the Chief Justice. Discuss the consequences for getting the words wrong.

Ask them about promises they have made. How do kids at school show that they really really promise.

Discuss what can or should happen when you need to break a promise.
Create Storytellers By Telling Stories { }
The intention of this activity is for children to hear you spin a yarn or two. Or tell real anecdotes – in a dramatic way. The magic comes from using something in their real life as the launch point.
- Expand your bedtime routine to include ‘fresh’ stories – stories they can add to in real time.
- Starter idea: When you were just 2 years old, your favorite umbrella looked like a frog. Then make up a story about what that special umbrella (shoes, pjs, etc.) did when not in use. It’s secret life.
- Once upon a time, long ago, when Daddy was just a little boy ….
- Did I tell you about the time Grandma brought some stars home in her pocket…?
- Encourage them to add twists and turns.
- Take turns starting stories.
- Develop a standard way of winding down until the next bedtime, like, “and so, we leave this story tonight. We will let those characters go to sleep. Maybe we can revisit them tomorrow?
Label Stories { }
The big lesson? Helping your young child learn that written words represent things. These symbols help a child think about items not actually in front of them.
- Use index cards to represent objects in your home. Put the word, “chair” on a chair. Or the words “kitchen chair” or “Mommy’s favorite chair” when they are ready for more complexity.
- Gather a few cards, sit in a comfortable spot, and make up stories using the cards. Have the “dog” sit on the “chair”. Or have the “dog” run.
- Create cards naming what you are serving for dinner. See if they can match the cards with the food.
- Ask them what cards they would like to see.
- Make up some silly cards with mistakes, like a card that says “Mr. Poopy Pants” on their favorite stuffed animal. Have them help you make a correct tag.
A family by any other name { }

One of the ways we can help our children appreciate other cultures (and avoid stereotyping) is to help them see how much we all share with one another. How much we are the same. Everyone has a mom and dad, aunts and uncles, etc. We just use different words. Here is an introduction to Navajo words for family members.

We are all connected, born into a very specific constellation of relatives. Work with your child to build a family map – with pictures and new words for that relationship. Start with words from your family’s heritage – and build from there.

Occasionally refer to Aunt Maria as Tia Maria or Shibizhi Maria. Learn and try together. You can hear how to pronounce the words here. Try putting place cards at the dinner table with just the words – not the names – to see if people can find the right seat. Kids will be so proud to know the right answers before the adults do. Let them teach – and serve as ambassadors.
Nursery Rhyme Time { }
The purpose is simple – getting your child accustomed to the rhythms, rhymes and word play.
- Use the length of a nursery rhyme as a timer for brushing their teeth. Walking up the stairs at night? Might there be a nursery rhyme you can finish as you reach the top step?
- For little ones, after they have heard the rhyme a few times, start repeating the rhyme, but leave off the last word of each line – and let your child finish it.
- Create cards with an image of the rhyme. When you serve breakfast, each person has to see if they can recite the rhyme that matches the picture. The rhyme itself can be written on the backs of the cards, so if they get a card they don’t know, they can try to read it – or ask for help.
- Over time introduce verses from more sophisticated poems.
- When you have grandparents or friends over for dinner, ask your child to put a card next to each plate. Let them be the ‘director’ – explaining the game and deciding who goes first.
- On slips of paper, write a single line from a rhyme. See if they can remember the whole rhyme.
Animals in Conversation { }
Sometimes fish discover water last. These conversation ideas can help your child appreciate the intentions of words and sounds to convey meaning in the animal and the human world.
- What kind of sounds do animals use to communicate with each other?
- Can people understand what “meow” means? Or is that a language that cats use for themselves?
- Let’s borrow from the cat world and substitute the word “meow” for a word we use often, like “please?”
- Meow may I have some more juice?
- Excuse me, (name) but would you meow give me a hug?
- Let’s think of other words we could use meow to replace?
- Let’s see if, as a family, we can substitute that word for a whole meal?
- The next day, surprise them by slipping the substitute word into a conversation.
- Later in the week, let them decide what animal language you will play with at dinner.
Early Journals { }
The purpose of this activity is to celebrate your young child’s daily experiences. To watch it evolve – to be able to revisit feelings and changes. This might just be the beginning of a journaling habit.
- Two or three evenings a week, before story time, ask your child about their day. What did they notice or do or feel? Draw pictures together. Glue special things. Write their words.
- Every few weeks, get the journal out to read with your other bedtime books.
- Encourage them to read their story to grandparents and other family members.
Language without Sound { }
Human beings thrived because of our ability to connect with one another. These easy activities can expand your child’s experience of focussed connection – focussed listening. By using our eyes alone we can share content and feelings.
- You can start to explore sign language by asking if they know how to say certain words without their voices. Of course they know ‘hello’ and ‘good-by’. ‘Yes’ and ‘no.’
- Ask them if they know what a wink means? Applause? “I smell something I don’t like.’ When someone rolls their eyes – what do you think they are saying?
- Learn a few of the basic signs together – ubiquitous basics like ‘please’ and ‘thank you.’ ‘Yes’ and ‘no.’ ‘I agree’ or not. ‘Good night.’ ‘I love you.’
- Get in the habit of partnering the signs when you use the words. Eventually, dropping away the words altogether.
- Have a sign language chart posted near the kitchen. Occasionally interrupt what you are saying, run to the chart, then return and use the sign in combination with the word. This shouldn’t feel like a lesson – but should be more of a thread you incorporate creatively.
- It gets fun when you see them across a room, and you can secretly communicate a message or two. Connection complete.
Onomatopoeia { }
Although your little ones are a long way from being able to say onomatopoeia, it’s never too early for them to have some fun with this word category. For a longer list …
- Sometimes words sound like what they mean.
- Click, tick tock, quack, zip, knock, hoot, meow, ding dong, hiccup …
- What sound does a zipper make? When they say the word, act it out and repeat it.
- What sound does a cat make?
- Help them see that they can come up with words just because they know the sound. What sound does a glass make when it breaks? When a fork hits the floor? When a horn makes a noise? When a raindrop hits the car?
- At some point introduce the word, onomatopoeia. Get in the habit of saying onomatopoeia when either of you identify one. Then do a high five.
- Picture grandparents surprise some day when your child comes out with THAT word.
A Budding Author in Your Midst { }
This exercise sets your child onto a path of authorship – as worthy creator. The challenge is to keep the activity as fast and light as possible while slipping in a few key concepts.
- It’s probably better not to start from scratch – initially. Instead, try building on a character in their world already. It might be that you already have a family favorite. (We used a Belly Wanster who loved to sneak up and tickle bellies.) Or you could imagine animating a favorite stuffed animal or toy.
- Ask what you think that character would do in some different situations – build their sense of a profile. No need to write anything yet. Help them develop that imaginary world.
- Is that what you might do in that situation? Do you think the character often has the same feelings you have?
- At some point, I think this character wants their own book. They think other kids would like to hear their story. Do you want to write a book about ___? I think it would be fun and I will help.
- Can you tell me what the character looks like (if made up)? Big or small?
- What do you want the character to do in the story? Get silly? Make someone’s day better? (Still – no writing yet.)
- Can you tell me the story and I will write it down for you?
- What kinds of pictures would help? Maybe tomorrow you can draw some pictures and I can put the words under them.
- Build the book. What do the want the cover to look like? Be sure to list author and illustrator.
- Invite family members and friends to ask about the book and ask your child to read the story to them. A little magic will happen for your little author.
Letter Scavenger Hunt { }
This activity can build your child’s awareness of letter sounds in their real life.
- Tell your child it’s time for a letter treasure hunt – and we begin with the letter “R”
- Let’s see if we can find 3 things in this room that begin with the letter “R.”
- Move around with them, saying “hmmmm” or “RRRRR”.
- If they seem to be struggling, pick out different articles and name them. “Do you hear an “R” in that word?”
- Eventually ask them to pick out items – say their name – and then decide.
- Soon they will be able to move about on their own.
- “I’m wondering, does Teddy Bear start with an R? What if it DID start with an R? Would it be Ready Bear.”
- You can increase the difficulty level by setting a timer or raising the number of examples.
- Give them a turn to name a starting letter that YOU have to find.
- This is a great game for car rides, too.
Promise to Keep a Secret? { }
These conversation ideas can help your child appreciate that some words carry real weight. They matter. You and your child can explore and better understand the concept of ‘your word.’
- What does “giving your word” mean? Explore the concept of ‘promise.’
- Can you think of some promises you have made to people?
- When I was your age I remember promising ____. It turned out to be a very difficult promise to keep because ….
- Sometimes we make a promise that we have to break. What should happen? How would you feel if someone made a promise they didn’t keep?
- Is there a way to make a promise without using the word? It’s like the word is what makes it real.
- What is a secret?
- Why do people want someone to keep what they just heard as a secret?
- I remember when I was your age. I wanted to tell my friend about —-, but it was really important to me that they keep it a secret. They said they would, but later I found out they had shared it.
- Has that happened to you?
- Why is it so hard to keep a secret? What if you decide to share it with just one other person – and ask THAT person to keep it a secret? What might happen?
- Is it ever okay to share it with someone else? With a grown-up?
- If you or one of your friends broke a promise or shared a secret, what would be a good way to discuss what happened?
- Encourage them to always keep you, as parents in any ‘secret’ loops. Parents know when it’s important to use that knowledge to help – like if another child is doing something that might be dangerous. You will always keep the secret if that is the best thing.
What Does Mean Mean? { }
These conversation ideas can help your child recognize that people sometimes use language to hurt or intimidate. The language of bullies.
- We all are the boss of what we say. Words don’t just come out.
- We use words to express ourselves and to relate to those around us. We all want (need) to be liked – to have friends. It’s what makes us human.
- Sometimes people feel they can make people like them more – by making them NOT like someone else. They do this by trying to embarrass or humiliate or scare. They ‘make fun’ of others.
- They act like bullies. And it isn’t okay. It isn’t funny.
- But when we are with someone bullying – or when we are being bullied – it can be really hard right then to come up with something to say that might help.
- When I was in school (tell a story about bullying). Tell them how you felt. Tell them how long those words hurt you.
- Have you seen anyone bullying? Tell me about it.
- Have you ever been bullied? Tell me about it.
- Let’s think of some answers we can have all ready to go if it happens again. Remember it is important not to escalate – make things even more angry – but instead to just end the bullying.
  - Say nothing. Turn and walk away. Maybe even smile before you turn away – communicating that their words didn’t bother you.
  - Why are you being so hateful right now?
  - Stand next to the person being bullied – “C’mon. Let’s go.”
  - Keep coming up with your own ideas.
Publish a Family Newspaper or Magazine { }
Encourage your child to publish a weekly newspaper. Suggest a day of the week it gets published (copied, printed and handed out). Ask what they will need to do or think about during the week so they can be ready. There are many lessons to be learned.

Depending on the age of your child, consider some of these options:
- interviews, quotes
- proofreading
- guest contributors
- letters to the editor
Copy and send electronically or print and hand out. Holidays can be especially fun. Relatives will love it. Include interviews with grandparents – cousins, etc.
Just 5! { }
After meeting someone – or after an outing or event – you can help your child learn the importance of carefully chosen words.
- “In just 5 words, how would you describe ….?” Note the words that match from your lists – and explore those that are different. Can you each understand why the differing words were chosen?
- After a movie or TV show, ask for 5 words to describe the main character – or the action.
OR A VARIATION
- Play a guessing game. See if you can guess who they are describing – one word at a time. Can you guess in one word? Two?
Sports Language { }
These activities can help your child explore the unique demands of storytelling (journalism?) with a sports focus. A genre with its own language and pace. (I have to admit I only understand one word in three when sportscasters do their ‘thing.’) And – it might actually be fun.
- Consider a slow build – over time. Perhaps begin a habit of posting articles on your fridge about your favorite team. Or, when you are watching a game, notice the language and pace. Commit to ‘covering’ your next meal using the same approach.
- Next meal – while cooking – introduce team members with all the energy and hype you heard on TV. “Person #1 is coming up the backfield now – has to find their way to the water pitcher without getting tackled. He’s safe!!!!” You get the idea – try to make even the most benign activities sound fantastic.
- And the handoff – the pass – the clean up team runs onto the field ….. overcoming the hamstring injury …
- During a family game of corn hole – provide commentary.
- After a big family event – like a barbecue – ask your child to take notes and then write an article about one of the games – horseshoes – or a game of rummy. Later send it to all in attendance.
- Consider recording a video of your child reporting as a sportscaster. Microphone-in-hand required – for the interviews. Winded, you can talk about your strategy saving those three eights to finally win the rummy game.
Host a Quarterly Book Event { }
This activity can bring your child’s favorite books and characters into their real life. Part celebration. Part motivation.
- Discuss books that your child and other kids are reading and enjoying. What books are popular?
- Want to plan a (title of book) party – or afternoon?
- Have your child decide the book – then pick a Saturday or Sunday afternoon for the book party. Who? How many?
- Buy a book for everyone who is invited.
- Write the invitations – and print them up like book marks. Together – write the invitations – and tuck them inside the front covers.
- Invitation could say something like, “(Book title” is where it’s at. Come dig into the details and have some fun on (date – a couple weeks out to give them time to read it in case they haven’t already).
- Here are some party ideas
  - Plan a menu the protagonist would enjoy.
  - Greet them in character
  - Have a (book title) jeopardy game with prizes. Who said what?
  - As they leave – a take home gift of …..?
- Do it all again a few months later.
The Reading Menu { }

The purpose of these ideas is to make reading – books – routine. Natural. Plan a family reading time (1/2 hour three times a week plus 1 hour on weekends?) – where you all settle into one room. They don’t have to actually read during that time – but no other entertainment is allowed.)

One mealtime a week the conversation is about what you have read. How did you pick that book? Was it what you expected? What did you like about it? Will you try to read something else by the same author? Favorite passage?
Does Nonfiction Mean True? { }
These discussion ideas are meant for older children. We all have some basic assumptions about the difference between the literary categories of fiction and non-fiction. But there are so many variations or lenses available when we consider the artistic intentions of both. But first, let’s look at the definitions:

Fiction: literature in the form of prose, especially short stories and novels, that describes imaginary events and people

Nonfiction: prose writing that is based on facts, real events, and real people, such as biography or history
- Why do you think it is important to know if a book is fiction or nonfiction? What might happen if someone believed that Pinocchio (for example) was true?
- Why do you think we need and enjoy imaginary stories? Why do you think they are valuable?
- Sometimes imaginary stories have life lessons to share. What might the story of Pinocchio teach?
- What fiction books are you enjoying now? What about the stories seem real or possible?
- If a nonfiction story is based on a real person, can the author make some parts up? What if they didn’t know the actual weather for an event. Is it okay if they describe a stormy sky?
- What if a nonfiction book is based on a real person, but only tells parts of that person’s life that support a particular point of view? How is that story true? Untrue?
- There are many advice books available, everything from how to lose weight to make lots of money or how to find the perfect spouse. What about those books may be true and trustworthy vs fiction and untrustworthy? How can you tell?
Persuade Me! { }
This idea can help kids step up their begging game – something beyond pleeeeeease and “everyone else gets to do it,” – as well as improving their writing game. They will learn there is communication and then there is effective communication.

When your child asks for something (a privilege, electronics, etc.), have them write a persuasive argument that convinces you. Some ideas to explore with them before they begin:
- Help them begin with a nice long list of pros and cons. Just listing the ‘cons’ legitimizes them. See how many of your real concerns they can come up with on their own. Learning to anticipate others’ real objections is an important part of presenting a persuasive argument. (Know your audience.)
- What you want to see in their written argument
  - Acknowledge your real concerns
  - Write a few sentences to show the benefits – “Dazzle me with what you will do with that new privilege/thing.”
  - Give me some information – cost, new capabilities, what happens if you don’t get it, any commitments you will make if it happens.
  - Any room for negotiation
  - Few sentences at the end making the request really clear and compelling
- Remind them that you still may have to decline the request – but can use the argument to perhaps negotiate a different solution.
Write Movie Reviews { }
These conversation ideas can help your child appreciate some of the criteria for good storytelling – videos, TV shows, movies.

CRITERIA – When you are watching a movie or show to together, come up with a list of criteria for why you are enjoying or not enjoying it. What makes a show worth watching? Keep a list for a few days – jotting down when you find yourselves liking certain parts or certain characters.
- Create the list. Discuss, as a family, the relative importance of each. Pick the top 5? Once you have your rating categories – discuss as a family how to rate each category. 0 – 10 stars? 1 – 5 thumbs up? Once you have your list, leave a space for comments on the bottom. Print up a stack and have them ready for when you watch things together (or even separately).
- Do you want to create a family rating – averaging the scores?
- Create an online movie / TV show ratings library – where friends and family can look them up – to see the ratings and the individual comments?
Slang Lang { }
These discussion ideas can help your child appreciate that language can evolve specifically to show belonging.
- One of the first signs of impending adolescence is the desire to put space between them and their parents’ generation. What better way than to be able to carry on a conversation – right in front of them – that they can’t quite understand?!
- As a parent, the challenge is show support and stay abreast while keeping some distance. Trying too hard to communicate in their vernacular can appear (to them) to be a bit of cultural appropriation.
- When you hear a new term, ask if they could help you understand what it means. Try using it in a sentence but be ready to endure a bit of teasing. Having you not quite ‘get it’ is the outcome they want. It is their language.
- Have some fun sharing some of the terms that have come into and out of favor as you grew up. Groovy!
Run On, Sentence! { }
The purpose of this activity is to have some fun with your older children exploring the concept of a full sentence or a complete thought. Obviously this should be handled with a light touch – but – if you can make it work, the lesson is a good one.
- When you notice a rambling or incoherent sentence from a magazine, newspaper or tweet, laugh, share it out loud and see if your child can help you figure out what it means.
- Get out a piece of paper and try to re-write it. Go a little crazy with the post-its – that’s part of the fun. Post both versions on your fridge.
- Suggest that the two/three of you can be known as the Sentence Doctors.
- Create a space/way to collect examples.
- One night a week, at dinner, take turns reading the examples and have fun trying to re-create their original intention.
- Post on fridge or bulletin board – before and after.
So Very Really Like { }

The purpose of this activity is to help your child recognize our temptation to overuse the words “so,” “very,” “really” and “like.” Although the focus will stay on you, with luck, they will begin to notice it in their conversations as well.

Tell your child you really really want to reduce your use of the words “so,” “very,” “really” and “like.” Like, you’ve been like noticing how often those words like slip in – so so often. Will they help you by bringing it to your attention when you do use those words?

You’re going to try so very very hard. If you are feeling brave, offer to put a coin in a bowl with each slip. To be funny, one day say you just have to do something – put a $5 bill in the bowl and walk around saying so-very-really-like.
Apple of My Eye { }

Appreciating metaphors can help children appreciate the beauty and power of language. Have some fun with this, over time. Create a little ritual (high fives, keeping score, etc.) when you spot one. Keep a list on the refrigerator.

Here are a few familiar metaphors (and a smilie or two.)

His head was spinning; feel blue; broken heart; apple of my eye; a moving speech; heated debate; deep thoughts; breaking news; winds of change; glued to their seats; end on a sour note.

A favorite category is descriptions of people – special ways of capturing something unique or special about them.

Early bird. Lame duck. Sitting duck. Night owl. Love birds. Spring chicken. Looney. Chick. Peacock. Cock of the walk. Batty. Fly by night. Flighty. Henpecked. Shark. Barracuda. Fish out of water. Crabby. Slippery. Swimming upstream. Swimming against the tide. Lemmings. Cool as a cucumber. Corny. Apple of my eye. Peach. String bean. Salty. Sour grapes. Hotdogger. Saucy. Cheesy. Wet noodle. Thorny. Shrinking violet. Rosey. Wallflower. Coyote. Badger. Paper tiger. Bull in a china shop. Long in the tooth. Foxy. Horse’s (butt). Weasel. Mousey. Stallion. Filly. Snake. Louse. Horse of a different color. Chameleon. Busy bee. Bees knees. Pack rat. Green with envy. Red hot. Yellow. Blue. Tough as nails. High strung. Built. Train wreck. Stacked. About to explode. Broken record. Bleeding heart. Spacey. Cute as a button. Spitfire. Old school. Fit to be tied. Loose cannon. Off their rocker. Pistol. Brown nose. Hard nosed. Sharp as a tack. Diamond in the rough. Granola. Helicopter mom. aaaaand (it’s your turn.)
Can You Listen & Remember at the Same Time? { }
Help your child appreciate that part of the magic of reading or listening to stories is that it is always interactive. Even without trying, when we hear about other worlds or other people, we automatically bring our whole selves into the story. We connect it to things that we have known or have felt.

Every now and then, when you are reading a story together, stop and ask,
- This story is making me remember …..
- I’m wondering what sorts of things your brain is bringing into the story right now.
Read the science behind this.
Folk Heroes { }
These conversation pointers can help your child recognize that stories about ordinary people who fight for what is right can help us all be strong. Before you begin, start to notice the heroes in your child’s life. Favorite books? Cartoon or movie characters? Video games? Or even real life heroes? Folk heroes are ordinary people – like you and your child – who face tough circumstances. No super powers here – just humans at their best. Super heroes come from a different place.
- After reading a story featuring a hero, tell your child why you see that character as a hero. I like the way that character struggled with how to help, but then mustered up their courage to stand up to that mean king. This exposes them to the concept of hero.
- What do you think was going on in that character’s mind and heart when they stood up for what was right? Do you think they were scared?
- Sometimes heroes step outside the rules to make things better for others. How might you know if it is time to break a rule?
- Malala is a real folk hero who is alive today. Here’s a book by Malala.
Memorize a Poem Together { }
“Committing meaningful words to mind is like taking training wheels off a bicycle,” says Cambridge Professor, Dr, Debbie Pullinger. “You may be a bit wobbly at first, but only then can you really feel the way the bike is moving over the surface; only then can you find your balance.”
- Consider beginning with The Swing by Robert Louis Stevenson.
  - How do you like to go up in a swing,
  - Up in the air so blue?
  - Oh, I do think it the pleasantest thing
  - Ever a child can do!
  - Up in the air and over the wall,
  - Till I can see so wide,
  - River and trees and cattle and all
  - Over the countryside –
  - Till I look down on the garden green,
  - Down on the roof so brown –
  - Up in the air I go flying again,
  - Up in the air and down!
- You can lead, perhaps having your child finish key lines, like “Up in the air so ___” and “Ever a child can ___.” Eventually they can be responsible for longer sections.
- Do these words remind you of what swinging feels like? Do the word take you up and down?
- If your child has just experienced an “up and down” day, think about beginning the poem – and helping them connect to the up and down nature of life.
Boss of Art? { }
The arts are very powerful. So powerful that dictators fear them and do what they can to control what people see, the stories they hear, their music, even what people wear – everything. They know the arts can change people’s feelings and even make them feel they can make a change in their government. The purpose of this discussion is to help your child recognize the reasons dictators fear artists and the messages they bring.

Definition: A dictatorship is a government or a social situation where one person makes all the rules and decisions without input from anyone else.
- Why do you think a dictator would want to control the arts?
- What might happen if people living under a dictator wore a t-shirt that was insulting to the dictator?
- In free countries we often have protest songs inspiring people to make the world – and their country – a better place. Do you think it takes courage to write and perform songs that criticize leaders in free countries? In dictatorships?
- How do you think other citizens feel or react when they see risky art? Do you think they look away because they are afraid? Do you think they try to protect the artist?
- Dictators are afraid that people will come together and challenge them. How do you think the arts help people come together?
- Let’s try to find art in our country that might not be legal under a dictatorship.
Photo: Smithsonian Magazine

Talking with our children about...

Storytelling

Here are a few pointers:

Finding the moment.

Space & time.

Introducing the topics with care.

Fatigue.

Pace.

Conversation – not lesson.

Easy and safe.

Enjoy.

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