Promise to Keep a Secret?

These conversation ideas can help your child appreciate that some words carry real weight. They matter. You and your child can explore and better understand the concept of ‘your word.’

• What does “giving your word” mean? Explore the concept of ‘promise.’
• Can you think of some promises you have made to people?
• When I was your age I remember promising ____. It turned out to be a very difficult promise to keep because ….
• Sometimes we make a promise that we have to break. What should happen? How would you feel if someone made a promise they didn’t keep?
• Is there a way to make a promise without using the word? It’s like the word is what makes it real.
• What is a secret?
• Why do people want someone to keep what they just heard as a secret?
• I remember when I was your age. I wanted to tell my friend about —-, but it was really important to me that they keep it a secret. They said they would, but later I found out they had shared it.
• Has that happened to you?
• Why is it so hard to keep a secret? What if you decide to share it with just one other person – and ask THAT person to keep it a secret? What might happen?
• Is it ever okay to share it with someone else? With a grown-up?
• If you or one of your friends broke a promise or shared a secret, what would be a good way to discuss what happened?
• Encourage them to always keep you, as parents in any ‘secret’ loops. Parents know when it’s important to use that knowledge to help – like if another child is doing something that might be dangerous. You will always keep the secret if that is the best thing.